My First Pregnancy or Why I Became A Doula

My husband and I met in college, began dating within a month of meeting, became engaged eight months later, and married eight months after that.  Three months after our wedding, my husband left for Basic Training on the other side of the country.  When all of his training was finished, we hoped to begin our life together.  The Army, on the other hand, had different ideas.  He was sent to Korea!  I can tell you, this was a lot of time to be separated from one another--20 months in all!

Eventually, his overseas assignment wrapped up, and we moved to North Carolina.  This was a very exciting time in our lives, and we relished in the fact that we could finally spend time together.  Even though we still felt like newlyweds, we had been married for almost two years, and we decided to try to have a baby right away.

From a young age it is drilled into our heads: if you have sex, you will get pregnant.  Because of this mantra, my husband and I expected to become pregnant very quickly--maybe even that first month!  However, that was definitely not our experience.  We tried for over 18 months.  After multiple trips to the doctor, and two cycles using the drug Clomid, we conceived our daughter!

What excitement!  What joy!  The only cloud in our rainbow of happiness was the fact that my husband was due to deploy to Iraq three weeks after we discovered our pregnancy.

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During my pregnancy/hubby's deployment, we kept in touch via daily emails, phone calls and Skype.  I was excited every week to show off my growing belly, and I know my husband was thrilled to see it as well.  We picked out baby names, I shopped for baby gear, and my mother helped me prepare.

We planned for my husband to come home for his mid-tour leave five days before my due date in the hopes that he would not miss the birth.  Unfortunately, I developed severe pre-eclampsia and needed to be induced at 37 weeks.  My husband would miss the birth of his first child, and I would not have his support as I delivered her.

Two of my good friends at the Army base came to the hospital to help and support me as best they could; however neither of them had been pregnant before.  Also, neither of them had experience helping someone through childbirth.

I am so thankful my friends were there to help me, but I would have LOVED the support of a trained and dedicated doula.  I would have had greater peace of mind if someone with specific skills to empower and encourage laboring women had supported me.  It would have helped me relax through labor, and more than likely, have an easier birth.  It also would have helped my husband feel less powerless.  It would have eased his mind to know that a trained doula was supporting his wife and baby.

In the end, my husband was able to come home on my daughter's seventh day of life.  He left again when she was 25 days old, and returned for good when she was seven months old.

I became a doula because of these experiences during my daughter's delivery.  Had I known about doulas, I would have hired one and benefited greatly from her expertise.  In the years since, I have seen for myself multiple times how a trained birth doula can support and empower mothers during this time of transition.

As for my actual birth story?  That is for another day!

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